Craving Approval

When our desire for approval is fulfilled in Jesus, we rid ourselves of unhealthy behaviors of people-pleasing or attention-seeking.

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My daughter was dancing silly next to me and immediately she yelled out “Dad” into the kitchen so that Krish would watch her and ultimately affirm and approve of her funny and silly dance moves. The next morning, she was drawing her ‘ABCs’ on her board, and she turned it around to show us her work, expressing the cheesiest smile, yet once again desiring our approval. Of course, we excitedly praised her and celebrated her in both moments.

I said to Krish, “Isn’t it interesting how we were instinctively made to crave affirmation and approval?”, which began a conversation around our identity in Christ. When our desire for approval is fulfilled in Jesus, we not only are empowered into destiny and display healthy confidence, but we also rid ourselves of unhealthy behaviors of people-pleasing or attention-seeking.

When I was young, I use to lie quite a bit and exaggerate stories for approval and affirmation. I also use to create stories in my imagination that would uplift or promote myself, and it would temporarily feed the void I felt. I did not recognize how big of an issue it was until I began to walk through the journey of receiving my identity in Christ. It was healing and life-altering.

If you have children, it is a beautiful and healthy practice to praise them, however, the greatest gift we can give them is teaching them their identity in Jesus. It is teaching them that their worth is not performance-based and they are loved for who they are! It is teaching them how to get their desires met in Jesus!

If you are an adult struggling to feel approved and affirmed, here is a practical process to walk through for healing.

1. Recognize your need for approval and be honest with yourself.

2. Come out of agreement with shame and understand the need for approval in Christ is healthy.

3. Repent for unhealthy behaviors associated with the lack of approval in your life. Ask Holy Spirit to shine light and show you these areas.

4. Ask God, Jesus, and Holy Spirit questions that will heal and fulfill your need for approval. (Examples: Jesus, what do you think about me? How do you approve of me? What do you love about me? What are your thoughts about me?) Be consistent and after time, you will drown out the noise opposing your Christ Identity.

5. Begin to build a journal of conversations with God, Jesus, and Holy Spirit to meditate on.

6. Read the word of God, seeking scripture on your identity and who He says you are.

7. Ask Holy Spirit to make you sensitive to triggers and moments of unhealthy approval. Step out of it and turn back to Jesus for approval.

8. Stay consistent. Remember, approval-seeking did not happen overnight, it typically comes from years of deficiency, lies, and lack of identity in Christ. Be patient, loving, and kind in your healing process!


This is an updated edition of a post originally published on Take Courage Ministries

Featured Image by StockSnap from Pixabay

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About the Author

Diane Anil is the founder of the global ministry Take Courage, where she primarily serves her community through a thriving online platform. Diane is also the founder of Take Courage Consulting and Coaching, where she serves her clients as a prophetic coach for their business, personal and spiritual needs. She is an ordained minister, holds certificate completion within two ministry schools, obtained a bachelor's degree in Communications and Human Resource Development from Oakland University, along with a certification in Counseling through Concordia University. Diane is the host of "An Invitation into The Father's Heart," a prophetic YouTube Channel where she invites others to experience a deeper connection with God. Diane is a pioneer, modern-day prophet, speaker, and writer. She has a passion for global missions, a heart for the nations, and has ministered in various capacities throughout Africa and India over the years. Her heart is to encourage the body of Christ to dive into greater intimacy with God by prophetically sharing the heart of God and the revelation she receives. Diane currently resides in Michigan with her husband, son, daughter, and baby on the way!