Breaking Toxic Soul Ties

As the Lord removes and separates you from some people in this season,
He is making room for the new people and the new things that He is bringing into your life to come in. 

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As I write these words of encouragement they are also coupled with the prophetic words that are being released from this ministry. In the past month, I felt that the Lord was severing and untangling many people from situations and people. Things that were draining and keeping people stuck. These situations are coming to a divine finality and a complete end of things. He is separating and breaking people away from toxic soul ties and narcissistic people.

I want to share with you and touch on the topic of ‘breaking toxic soul ties.’ The Lord never intended for us to be in toxic relationships but healthy ones like Jonathan and David. This includes friends, family, someone you are dating, spouse, co-workers, etc. A lot of times we can have what I like to call a ‘demonic soul tie’ with someone. These kinds of soul ties are toxic, draining, suffocating, and can keep you stuck. They are what I also like to call leeches or spiritual vampires where they drain and suck the life (anointing) out of you constantly.

Whether they are a believer or non-believer the soul tie can become toxic. Those type of people draining and leeches are extremely co-dependent, needy, want attention all the time, dump their guilt on you, play victim, are selfish, have constant scattered conversation to where they cannot stay on topic, always need prayer or interrupt your day by taking your time constantly. These kinds of relationships are not healthy and it is wise to separate yourself from them as it will be detrimental to your emotional, psychological, spiritual, and physical health over time.

These kinds of people can be a chameleon always changing to accommodate and adapt to what they are doing (manipulating) and so you don’t see what they are doing to you which is (grooming) you. They are always up to something and don’t want to deal with their issues. This is why it is so important to seek the Lord and ask for wisdom, discernment, and test the spirit always. Otherwise, you slowly catch yourself entangled in a toxic soul tie.

I also felt that this was something the Lord was dealing with in this season in severing and breaking these toxic soul ties with people so that the people of God can go forth into their God-given assignments. The right alignments will propel and facilitate you into doors and breakthrough whilst wrong alignments will hinder and hold you back, keeping you stuck in repetitive cyclical cycles.

The Lord has been working in many in this season through trials, testing, betrayals, and pain to even remove people that have been in your life that cannot go with you into your next through breaking toxic soul ties.

There is a lot more I can share on soul ties, however, for the time being, this article was just to get the idea and understanding of toxic soul ties and to correlate also what the Lord has been doing in the past season. As the Lord removes and separates you from some people in this season, it is making room for the new people and the new things that He is bringing into your life to come in. Where you will not only have the capacity to handle the new but be able to emotionally and spiritually breathe and be able to enjoy the new.

Sometimes when we don’t let go the Lord will allow certain things to happen and use this to break us away from toxic people and alignments that are unfruitful, hindering, and draining. One thing I have learned is you have to trust the Lord to know what He is doing when He removes a person or alignment out of your life. Don’t hold on to it but yield to the Lord and His way as He always knows best. Don’t fight the separation even if it hurts.

Questions you may have pondered on about toxic soul ties

  • What is a Soul Tie?  A soul tie is when you are yoked and/or connected to someone emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and physically. You share a connection and/or bond with this person where it is through friends, family, co-workers. etc.
  • What is toxic Soul Tie? When you are connected to someone in all four ways (emotionally, psychologically, spiritually, and physically) it can become toxic. Toxic in a sense of you are being abused, taken advantage of through manipulation and control through the soul tie that you have with that person. When you have a soul tie with someone it gives them access to your soul and your will. If that soul tie is demonic/toxic it can control not only you but your will. In other words, get you to do things you would not normally do. The other person can have power over to where they can control you. This not only shows how strong the soul tie is but how much dominion that person has over you. This can happen with anyone you give yourself (heart) access to. Guarding your heart is a must so you don’t get into a toxic soul tie.
  • How do you break away/sever a toxic soul tie? Some soul ties are stronger than others and can be broken instantly or over time. Depending on how strong the attachment and connection was. Also, you can become trauma bonded to that person through the soul tie. These are harder to break and separate from because of trauma. You first have to acknowledge that the soul tie is toxic, separate yourself from the person and/or situation, set boundaries, enforce those boundaries, don’t compromise, get your soul healed where you were wounded in that soul tie through forgiveness and repentance and once you get healed don’t let them back in. Know when to close that door and keep it closed! You may need to pray and fast to break some soul ties. This you will want to let the Lord lead you on how to sever and break away as each soul tie is different. When you get your soul healed it will also keep you getting into other toxic soul ties. When the soul tie is toxic the other person is controlling can pull on you, this is where your strength and energy are drained because of the access they have to your soul. This also lets you know they have access to areas of your heart that they should have never had access to.

Here are 10 practical steps to consider about toxic soul ties:

  1. Set healthy boundaries and don’t compromise those boundaries for any reason.
  2. Don’t allow someone to control or manipulate you. If they do that means you need some healing in your soul. Manipulators know your weak spots.
  3. It is okay to say NO, telling someone no does not mean you do not care it means you care enough about yourself not to be a victim to their abusive tactics.
  4. Use discernment and wisdom when you set healthy boundaries so you don’t get sucked back into their atmosphere that is a chaotic whirlwind of constant chaos.
  5. Don’t let someone pull on your heartstrings, the enemy again knows your weak areas and will use this to manipulate their way into a toxic soul tie with you.
  6. Guard your heart always you can’t let anyone just come into your heart, when they come into your heart they can get into your mind and cause all kinds of psychological damage. 
  7. Stay away from toxic narcissistic people that are always negative, complaining, bitter, selfish, and never want to listen or hear the truth. They love to be in denial of things.
  8. Ask the Lord for wisdom and discernment so you don’t give access to wrong people or alignments and get entangled.
  9. If you feel confused, tired, drained, headaches, exhaustion all the time it is probably coming from the other person(s) you are connected to. Remember you cannot carry someone else’s issues, baggage, or warfare. When a soul tie is demonic and toxic you will feel their stuff thinking it is you and it’s not!
  10. You cannot help toxic people, separate yourself from them, and let the Lord deal with that person. You will save yourself tremendous amounts of time, strength, and energy when you do.

Some scriptures for you to meditate and renew your mind on:

2 Corinthians 6:14 — “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?”

1 Samuel 18:1 “After David had finished talking with Saul, Jonathan became one in spirit with David, and he loved him as himself.”

Proverbs 4:23 “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”


Prayer for you to pray, declare, and decree:

Lord, thank you for your word, revelation, insight, and truth about soul ties. If, there is any toxic soul tie I have with anyone in my life then show me. I humble myself before you Lord and I forgive every person that I entangled to that was a toxic wrong alignment that hurt, wounded, betrayed, or caused me any pain in my soul. Bringing healing to every part of my soul that was hurt and wounded by that toxic soul tie. Release your Glory Light into my soul and shine your light on every wounded area from those alignments that need healing. Remove, sever, and cut any demonic or toxic soul tie and wrong alignments out of my life with the sword of the spirit. If there is a toxic person in my life now that I am not aware of, expose it. Let me see what the enemy doesn’t want me to see. Let the right people and alignments that are of your will for this season come into my life at the right time. Thank you, Lord, for putting my heart, soul, and mind back into heavenly order. Restore every part of my emotions where peace and joy were disrupted through these wrong alignments. I ask Lord that you give me wisdom, discernment, and the ability to hear your heart on the new alignments that you are bringing into my life. I yield myself to your will and your ways so that I do not miss the alignments and timing that you have for me in this season. Let this word and prayer be sealed in the heavens. In Jesus Name. Amen.

Let this word bless, encourage, bring insight, activate, and impart into you for the month we are in and how to move forward in expectation for the new people and alignments He is bringing!





This is an updated edition of a post originally published on Lorilei Cooley

Featured Image by Dan Dennis on Unsplash


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About the Author

Lorilei Cooley is a Kingdom Winds Contributor. The heart of her ministry is to encourage, uplift, and bring hope to the body of Christ through the prophetic words and revelatory insight that is released corporately to the body of Christ.