Anchored

It was as if the winds on the sea were flinging me back and forth and crashing over me. I felt as if I had no sails anymore. As if at any moment I would capsize. What did I have to live for if everyone was gone?

Posted on

I had lost everything. I was barely holding onto my dignity. I was a single mother raising three children under the age of 5 with very little child support for my oldest and none for my other two. I had to make a tough decision to place the oldest two of my three children in the care of others.  This led to depression and a desire for companionship. I met a man online, and our relationship progressed quickly.  I did what a lot of young single mothers do and allowed him into my son’s life without doing a background check or getting to know him first. I moved in with him after a few months of dating and quickly regretted my decision. I allowed him to care for my son during the day while I worked. He ended up abusing him. I was scared, naïve, and believed the lies and excuses he told me.

A family member called child protective services, and before I knew it, I was being asked to sign temporary rights over to them for my son so that he could go to foster care while I figured out where I was going to go and what I was going to do.   reluctantly signed, and a few days later, I found out that they would not be returning him to me. My thoughts and my focus were all over the place, and I had no idea where to go or how to get out of this situation. I was embarrassed and ashamed. I was in for a fight to figure things out and get my son back. It was as if the winds on the sea were flinging me back and forth and crashing over me. I felt as if I had no sails anymore. As if at any moment I would capsize. What did I have to live for if everyone was gone?

Since I could not afford an attorney, I had to settle for a court-appointed one. I was told that I may never get my son back. I was told I was a horrible person and a horrible mother and that I faced possible charges for failing to protect him. My first instinct was to give up completely. How could I ever win this fight or trust another human being again?  How could I survive this?  I had no money and my car was not running. I had no family near me, and I was too embarrassed to ask my friends for help. I felt as if I was being sucked out to sea.

I needed something to keep me anchored. Something to keep me from floating away or, worse, completely falling apart. I was ashamed. I gave my heart to Jesus when I was six years old; how could I have allowed my life to get this way? If I didn’t anchor my ship right then, I could be lost forever.

I decided to get back into a Spirit-filled church, and I surrounded myself with people I knew loved me and were praying for me. I spent time just getting closer to God. Waves were crashing over me, but somehow, I managed to stay firmly in place and right side up throughout the entire violent storm. Eventually, everything calmed down and God spoke to me and encouraged me. He sent the most amazing people into my life and blessed me with discernment, knowledge, and wisdom. He sent me a husband. My sails were repaired, and my hull was intact.

A permanent anchor is used to keep the boat stationed to the floor of a body of water so that it is immovable even in the most extreme weather. I liken this to our walk with Jesus Christ. We have all been through some extreme storms in our lives and at times felt like we were all over the place with the severe winds of life, battling to stay focused and in one place. Then there was Jesus. Somehow we never floated away even after we were tattered and bruised; we remained in position.

Hebrews 6:17-19 tells us, “Because God wanted to make the unchanging nature of his purpose very clear to the heirs of what was promised, he confirmed it with an oath. God did this so that, by two unchangeable things in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled to take hold of the hope set before us may be greatly encouraged. We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure” (NIV). He has anchored us with His promises. We never have to worry about losing our footing when we are anchored in the Lord. He keeps us firm and immovable. We can weather a storm knowing that even if we still hurt or lose something, we have not drifted away, and we are not lost forever.

Isn’t it amazing that we have access to this free gift, that He is so solid and so grounded? Regardless of how bad life gets, we can still be okay. There are people who have gone through much worse things in life than I have, but I’ve seen such wonderful blessings happen in their lives afterward. Having a relationship with Jesus Christ is more than just going to church, praying before we eat, and living by the 10 commandments. It’s talking to Him about everything. It’s crying and expressing anger when we don’t understand why we are once again in a dicey place. It’s tithing when you don’t have much to your name and finding checks in the mail to pay your bills from unexpected places when you need it most. It’s going through a storm, but in the midst, you suddenly have peace because you read your Bible or on your TV someone is preaching and it’s as if they are speaking directly to you. It’s comforting because you know that God is using them to remind you that it is okay and that He has you. He has got this.  There is hope.  You are secured, and then all of the sudden, it is okay. I can go on and on of the many times I’ve experienced such blessings because of my faith and being anchored in Jesus Christ as my Savior.

“The Lord is good, a strength and stronghold in the day of trouble, He knows (recognizes, has knowledge of and understands) those who take refuge and trust in Him” (Nahum 1:7 AMPC).

It’s taken practice on my part to trust Him to secure me. It takes a lot of faith to trust that all will be well when the storms hit. It’s a scary ride, but when it’s all over, you can continue your journey with a new strength.

 

 

This is an updated edition of a post originally published on anchoredinatrove.wordpress.com 

Featured Image by Guvo59

The views and opinions expressed by Kingdom Winds Collective Members, authors, and contributors are their own and do not represent the views of Kingdom Winds LLC.

About the Author

Valerie Close has a passion of encouraging others with the truth from the word of God and her own personal experiences. She is faith-driven and a seeker of truth with a real heart and compassion for other people to come out on the other side with a new hope and revelation of Jesus Christ.