Recently, I had friends and family over for Sunday dinner. Adults were seated around the dining room table, laughing, joking, and eating good food. Children were running through the house; some were playing with cars and trucks, some were playing soccer, and some were building towers with Legos. It was wild and wonderful. Some would call it chaos… but I call it connection!
I paused for a moment and just savored all that was going on around me. Laughter. Cheers. Conversation. In the quietness of my own soul, I thanked the Lord for these precious times.
Here’s the thing, God designed us for community and connection. Those are the keys to a joy-filled life. We were designed for deep connection with God and authentic community with others.
The Apostle Paul wrote about joy or rejoicing 16 times within the tiny book of Philippians. What’s crazy is that his circumstances weren’t great. In fact, he was under house arrest. Some of us felt like we were under house arrest during the recent pandemic. But for Paul, house arrest was real. What was his secret to such a joy-filled life?
Paul’s secret was that he prioritized His relationship with Christ and his friendships with others, even while being locked up.
There is a direct correlation between how much joy you experience and how deeply connected you are. Scientific research supports what the scriptures teach. We were designed for connection. As we connect and enjoy one another, joy is stimulated in our brains and our happiness literally increases.
In light of that, what’s holding you back?
Throw a party this summer, or gather a few friends for dinner. Invite a friend for coffee or host a tea party. The point is to gather and invest in your relationships. Don’t know how to get the gathering started? No worries! I’ve got you. Here are some practical tips to help you:
Practical Tips to Help You as You Gather
Ask Questions. You don’t have to interrogate, but you can demonstrate genuine curiosity about the other person. Simple questions work well. “What’s the funniest thing that has happened to you this week? Where did you go on vacation last summer? What fun plans do you have for this season? If you’re in a one-on-one setting, simply “Tell me your story” works great. Everyone has a story and each person is an intriguing masterpiece created in the image of God. (Ephesians 2:10). Learn the art of question-asking and get to know the people around you.
Serve Food. It’s amazing how many times through the scriptures the table is mentioned. We are invited to the table of the Lord and we are to host others at our tables. As we invite others into our homes and serve food, conversation flows more naturally. Don’t believe me? Try it. Invite a few friends over and serve some food. It can be as simple as a charcuterie board or hamburgers and hot dogs. It is simply amazing how serving food opens conversation.
I’ve been trying something new since the pandemic. Rather than simply taking friends out for coffee, I am inviting them into my home for coffee. I have found that the conversations get a bit more real when we are sitting in the safety of my home. If you study the early church in the Book of Acts, you will discover they all met in each other’s homes. (Acts 2:46-47). They shared meals and prayers. They enjoyed deep connection and community.
Affirm. People are dying for a little affirmation and encouragement, including your family and friends. This is as simple as telling someone something you appreciate about that. Paul did this with the believers he wrote to in Philippi. He wrote that he had them in his heart and was confident. (Philippians 1:3,6). May I ask you, who needs to hear that you have confidence in them? A good rule of thumb, if you want deep relationships, is to be the first to offer affirmation and the last to criticize.
Show Up Humble. Paul wrote the believers living in Philippi that they were to have the same mindset as Christ, who was humble. (Philippians 2). Did you know that according to much research, humble people are happier? Makes sense, doesn’t it? If you’re humble, you’re not always concerned with proving yourself. You’re more open to really listening to others. And you’re more inviting as a person. So follow the example of Jesus and learn to show up humble. You won’t regret it.
Go on a Girlfriend Retreat. Gather a few of your besties and head someplace where you can each relax. Share prayer requests, go for pedicures, take a hike, read the scripture together and simply enjoy each other. Commit to doing life together as you each seek to follow Jesus.
Friend, the truth is if you want more joy in your life, cultivate your relationship with Christ and then gather to foster deeper connections with your family and friends. Make it a priority. You’ll be thankful you did. No one I know lays on their death bed wishing they had been busier. However, many I know have laid on their deathbed, wishing they had invested more in their relationships. Here’s the thing, it’s never too late to change. Decide now that you will cultivate deeper connections and watch how your joy increases.
This is an updated edition of a post originally published on Carol McLeod Ministries
Featured Image by Krisztina Papp on Unsplash
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