I’m assuming that you’re here reading this because something in your marriage seems to be missing or just perhaps isn’t right. We want to get really specific and help you identify if any of these potential warning signs might be going off in your marriage. But, if they are, don’t fret, they can ALL be repaired, turned around, and redeemed. It’s important to know that even in your worst-case scenario, hope is available.
One of the simplest early warning signs is that you’re just NOT SATISFIED. Keeping in mind that happiness is not the end-all, be-all, but a lack of it certainly can be a clue that things may not be okay. Despite what society might tell you, a lack of happiness is not a reason to move on and head towards divorce. There are so many deeper, more profound goals of marriage than just to be happy. BUT your marriage indeed should be generally satisfying, so if it’s not, it’s time to address it.
If your COMMUNICATION is erratic, non-existent, hostile, involves name-calling, or if you aren’t talking at all, this is a problem.
The more you ignore it, the more you will find yourself going in circles, and guess what? Circles lead to nowhere! Communication is critical to have in a marriage.
Next up, is if you or your spouse have CHECKED OUT. Being checked out in your marriage really is just another way of saying you just don’t care anymore. This can happen to couples who have let things go a little longer than they should and now hopelessness is creeping in. If this is you, it’s definitely time to get some help. If this goes on for a length of time, it will take your marriage to a place that you never meant for it to go.
Now let’s talk about JUST STAYING TOGETHER FOR THE KIDS. We can’t even begin to tell you how wrong this mentality is. Your kids don’t want you to just stay together, they want you to be in a marriage together. Simply staying together for the kids just teaches them to grow up, get married, and do the exact same thing. While you’re simply just staying together, you are also actively modeling what marriage should look like. If your marriage isn’t a marriage you want your kids to have, then work on it so you can actually model a healthy one for them. Show them what it is to fight for your marriage. That’s something they will appreciate.
Lastly, it’s the most obvious one, if you’re using the D-WORD, your marriage is in trouble. If you’ve said it, you’ve thought about it, and if you’ve thought about it, it won’t be long before you do it.
We tell you these things not to solely help you identify that your marriage might be in trouble, but we say these things to let you know it’s time for a change. In order for things in your marriage to change, things in your marriage will need to change. We know it can feel hopeless sometimes, but there are people out there like us, who willing to loan you our hope until you find yours once again.
God is for your marriage. He wants it to be good, connected, and healthy. After all, it represents the love Christ has for his Bride, the Church. Let the Lord use your hard times for growth instead of destruction. Reach out for help, get reconnected, and start talking.
This is an updated edition of a post originally published on Expedition Marriage
Featured Image by Henri Pham on Unsplash
